Stress is difficult to define, and its meaning changes from person to person. For one person it can mean a strain on their body, for another it could be an emotional or mental strain. Ultimately, stress is when the demands on a person’s resources (whether mental, physical, emotional) are higher than what the person can cope with.
Unfortunately, being alive means dealing with stress. But that doesn’t mean that we are doomed! A person’s thoughts and attitudes about the stressful event determine how they respond and how successful they are in dealing with the stress.
Indeed, how we choose to deal with stress can be more important than the cause of the stress itself. When something happens to us, our brains run through a checklist to decide how threatening it is, how we need to deal with the situation, and what skills we can use to do so. If you have fewer skills than what the situation needs, then you become ‘stressed’. If you have the skills you will not become stressed. The key thing is that everyone has a different skills and ways to respond to a situation: what stresses you out might not stress a friend out, and vice versa!
Understanding Stress
In order to understand stress, it is important to look at all the different parts of the situation: the specific event that occurred, the thoughts about the event, and how to respond to it. These situations are called “stressors”. Stressors can be daily events in our lives or they can be major, life-changing events. Some examples of stressors that youth report include:
Difficulties at home with the family
Change in family dynamics (ie. new baby, sibling moves out, Mom or Dad lost their job)
Changing schools
Difficulties with classes and learning at school, or with homework
Being bullied at school
Relationship with boyfriend or girlfriend breaking up, and dating
Fitting in socially at school
Getting good grades in school and getting into university
Getting a part-time job
Choosing a career path
Balancing school, work, social life, and family relationships
Facing an environment that encourages drugs, alcohol, and sex
Natural separation and drift from parents
Learning to accept themselves with or without talents and abilities
Recognizing Stress
People respond to stress in their own unique way. One person may have an emotional reaction such as yelling or crying. On the other hand, another person may have a physical reaction such as muscle tension, headache, or upset stomach. Also, when a person decides that a situation is indeed stressful, their body releases a chemical called adrenaline. Adrenaline initiates the body’s “fight or flight” reaction, a natural mechanism to ensure survival in a dangerous situation. This response causes increased sweating, rapid breathing, faster heart beating, and muscle tensing, all aimed at aiding the body in surviving a stressful situation. While this might be immediately helpful, in the long run it can have negative effects on a person’s body.
It is important to recognize your own body’s reactions to stress. Do you chew your nails? Maybe eat too much or too little? Do you tend to oversleep; or maybe you can’t get to sleep in the first place? Does your skin breakout? As you become more aware of how your body deals with stress you can try and recognize that you are stressed and use stress management and coping techniques before your symptoms begin. For instance, rather than waiting for your palms to start sweating, check in with yourself to see if you are feeling the following emotions:
Overwhelemed
Angry
Anxious
Scared
Depressed
Irritable
Worthless*
Helpless*
Hopeless*
* If you feel these three emotions, which are the three emotions most commonly felt by those who are suicidal, seek help from a trusted adult immediately.
Coping with Stress
Sometimes we are able to take action to do something about a stressful situation; this is called Stress Management. Unfortunately, sometimes we are unable to make changes to the situation itself, so we need to find ways of taking care of ourselves to relieve some of the stress. This is called coping, and each person has his or her own individual way of coping. Some examples of coping techniques are:
Avoid alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fats: these chemicals put strain on the body and affect how a person can deal with stress
Do something creative: you can paint, draw, write, dance, play an instrument, something that brings enjoyment
Drink water: the first part of your body to get dehydrated is your brain!
Eat healthy: by not putting junk in your body you can focus your energy on dealing with your stress
Exercise: this keeps your body healthy and helps burn off negative energy
Get enough sleep: at least 8 hours a night helps one feel well rested
Have some fun: a person should set aside time for activities that make them happy and that are fun
for them
Manage time effectively: use an agenda or planner to display all that needs to be done, prioritize, and check off tasks as they are completed
Positive self talk: this helps to counter negative perspectives and thoughts that you might have about yourself and allow you to give yourself encouragement
Relax: you can do this by practicing meditation, muscle relaxation, deep breathing, prayer, tai chi,
or yoga
Slow down: this helps you gain perspective and stop pushing themselves around
Spend time with friends, family or pets: being with those you care about can help you gain perspective and also relax
Talk to a trusted adult: there are many options for you to choose from, such as a family member, friend, teacher, counselor, youth worker, coach, religious leader or CHIMO
Use your stress: channel your stress into motivation to get something done
You should also watch out for negative coping techniques, such as:
Using alcohol, tobacco, or drugs: this may work for a short period of time, but can lead to addiction and dependency, not to mention the horrible effects on the human body.
Procrastinating: this is when tasks are left to the last minute or not completed at all, which may create more stress
Excess: excessive sleeping, eating, or exercising is both damaging to a person’s health and ineffective in dealing with stress
Stress Management
Coping is used to accept the stress in our lives and make positive actions to relieve the stressful burden. Stress management is when we find strategies for change so that we can potentially eliminate the stressful situation altogether. The strategies that can be used to change a stressful situation are:
Eliminate: ask yourself if the situation causing stress can be postponed or if it is it necessary at all;
if it’s not, get rid of it
Give away responsibilities: think who else can do this, or who else can help when there is too many stressful situations to handle
Lower expectations: think of a best and worst case scenario and realize that not everything has to
be perfect
Prioritize: set tasks in order of importance and complete them accordingly
Problem solving: figure out how to solve the stressful problem and move past it
Recognize thinking errors: try not to over-generalize, obsess, catastrophize, think that everything must be perfect, or that there is only one way to do approach a situation
Use assertiveness skills: learn to say no and remind others that a person should not be taken for granted (see our communication skills page for more information)
Resources
The following are some recommended resources for dealing with stress:
CHIMO Crisis Services:www.chimocrisis.com
Find information about CHIMO and the various services CHIMO provides to individuals and families in the Richmond, BC community.
Canadian Mental Health Association:http://www.cmha.ca
CHMA is a nation-wide charitable organization that promotes the mental health of all and supports the resilience and recovery of people experiencing mental illness. There are great resources here related to stress management and coping.
Health Link BC:www.HealthLinkBC.ca
This site provides you with access to non-emergency health information and services. Speak with a nurse about your symptoms, consult with a pharmacist about your medication questions, or, get healthy eating advice from a dietitian. You can also find the closest health services and resources
to you.
Heart and Stroke Foundation:www.heartandstroke.ca
Promotes ideas of healthy living and illustrates how stress can have a detrimental affect on our health.
International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies:http://www.istss.org/
ISTSS is an international multidisciplinary, professional membership organization that promotes advancement and exchange of knowledge about severe stress and trauma. This knowledge includes understanding the scope and consequences of traumatic exposure, preventing traumatic events and ameliorating their consequences, and advocating for the field of traumatic stress.
Mind Tools:http://www.mindtools.com/
This site introduces you to the three main approaches to stress management, and then shows you how you can identify the key sources of stress in your life and how to help alleviate such stress.
Richmond Recreation and Cultural Services:www.richmond.ca
Oversees parks and recreation facilities in Richmond. Community and recreation centres offer a wide range of recreational programs for all ages such as craft and recreational courses, musical events, theatre, indoor and outdoor swimming, tennis, skating, and many more. Find a stress reliever that
suits you!
Vancouver Coastal Health:http://www.vch.ca/mentalhealth/
(VCH) provides a full range of health care services ranging from hospital treatment to community-based residential, home health, mental health and public health services.
