The following list of behaviors or clues is a review of warning signs that should alert you to the possibility of suicidal ideation. As you are no doubt aware, presence of one of these signs or behaviors does not necessarily indicate suicidal intent. A combination of a number of these signs should give you cause for alarm.
Always take seriously any verbal statement indicating a wish to die or threatening suicide. While this may seem too obvious to state, it is amazing how easily suicidal threats are discounted.
In general, the more of the following signs are indicated, the more certain you can be that a person is suicidal.
Signs to pay attention to:
Suicide threat – statements revealing a desire to die
Previous suicide attempts
Sudden changes in behavior (withdrawal, apathy, moodiness)
Feelings frequently experienced by someone who is suicidal:
Depression: “nothing seems important anymore,” Worthlessness: “I can’t do anything right” Numbness: “I just can’t feel anything” Anxious: “I can’t take it any more” Hopelessness: “Nothing will work” Helplessness: “I can’t do anything “
Statements such as “my family would be better off without me,” “I’m not going to be around much longer”
Making final arrangements ie. giving away personal
possessions, writing a will, saying good-bye to family, friends
Recent loss of a loved one or role models – especially
by suicide
Poor sense of self-esteem
Pre-occupation with death
Isolation
Self-injurious behaviour (including mutilation)
A change in an important relationship
Losses in general
Changes in health status
How to Help
ASK: “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”
If you notice warning signs, the best way to find out if a person is suicidal is to ask directly. Asking will not “put the idea into the mind” of the suicidal person. On the contrary, it will probably be a relief to talk about it. In fact, not talking about his or her suicidal feelings makes it impossible for the student to reach out and get help.
If the answer to “Are you thinking about suicide?” is even a tentative “yes,” you should find out how serious the intent is. ASK about plans:
• “How are you going to kill yourself?”
• “When are you thinking of doing it?”
• “Do you have the means (gun, pills, etc.)”
The more lethal the means and the more definite the time set, the greater the danger. Asking about plans can be done after the listening phase.
HIGH RISK = LETHALITY + AVAILABILITY + SHORT TIME FRAME
LISTEN
Carefully to the words and to the feelings behind the words
Try to understand the person’s feelings
Let them know you care
Ask questions only to clarify
Don’t judge the person or try to give advice
Don’t ask “Why” questions---these imply judgment or blame
Don’t say “Things will get better” - they might not
Listening is a door-opener. The single most common complaint that teenagers make about people around them is that they don’t listen. It is easy to help solve someone’s problem but not so easy to try to understand the problem or the feelings behind it. Most times, the only person who can solve someone’s problems, is that person themselves. Their feelings cloud their perceptions and only by talking and releasing those feelings will the air clear so that options become visible.
HELP
Never keep a suicide plan secret
Agree with the suicidal person on a way to get help: counsellor, trusted adult, hospital, doctor, etc.
For a high-risk person: do not leave them alone
Don’t ever dare a suicidal person to just “Do it.” Reverse psychology does not work
A suicidal person has a lot of fears around getting help. They may feel shameful, scared, like they won’t be taken seriously, like their sense of control will be taken entirely away, etc. Therefore, in order to feel safe, they must be given some control in finding the person who will help them.
Under no circumstances, should a suicide plan be kept a secret. It is always preferable to have an angry friend than a dead one. In addition, one of the only things that can be said to cause a suicidal person to commit suicide is, “I dare you to...”
NO-HARM AGREEMENT
A no-harm agreement gives the suicidal person the responsibility for not hurting her or himself. They must be short in duration, no more than 48 hours, as any longer length of time may seem too abstract and unmanageable. Once a way of getting help is agreed upon, a no-harm agreement requires a promise to not hurt themselves and a promise to get help, both within a set time-frame. For example: “I want you to promise me that you will not hurt yourself until you talk to your aunt tomorrow.” Make sure you create a safety plan with the individual such as, letting them know you will check in, if an aunt was identified then let the aunt know she is a part of the safety plan, current resources etc…
A no-harm agreement does two things:
It shows that you care.
It allows the person’s control of the situation to remain intact (ie. You don’t ask them to promise
not to kill themselves.)
Media Coverage & Suicide
Media reports should:
Always include an educational component describing the warning signs of suicide and where to
go for help
Media reports should avoid:
Presenting the story on the first page of the publication or as the leading story of a news broadcast
Presenting simplistic cause-effect explanations for suicide such as “Teen kills himself because of
family fight”
Engaging in repetitive, ongoing or excessive reporting of suicide in the news
Presenting the story in a sensational many by providing details and the using of dramatic photos related to the suicide
Reporting technical “how to” descriptions about how the suicide was completed
Presenting suicide as a tool for accomplishing certain ends
Glorifying suicide or persons who commit suicide
Focusing solely on the suicide completer’s positive characteristics in a glorifying manner
Mentioning other past suicides as part of the news story or hinting at a suicide epidemic
(White, Jennifer and Nadine Jodoin. A Manual of Best Practices in Youth Suicide Prevention. Ministry for Children and Families. June 1998)
For more information, please contact:
Coordinator, Community Education Services
Phone: 604-270-4435 ext 2
Email: ravendano@chimocrisis.com
